Monday, November 30, 2009


I'm having a little crisis of faith tonight. It's OK. I know all the right things that I am supposed to remember at a time like this. I know that God 's Word is truer than anything that I feel. I know there are up and downs in everyone's life. I know God cares about what makes me sad. And, I know that there is someone who would say to me, "You shouldn't be sad, look at all the wonderful things in your life." And, you know what? They would be right.

But, knowing those words...even knowing their validity, doesn't do a thing to change the fact that I am not happy with some of the things that are happening around me and to me and to the people I love. And, God understands that. He KNOWS my heart.

Nothing major has happened. Nothing that would even concern anyone other than a close few. But, the fact is...I just don't think life is fair sometimes. I feel like sometimes it rains only on me and mine. And, I feel the sky over us is dark and gloomy. Yes, that about sums it up...that's how I feel. Maybe not true, but the way I feel.

But, Praise God!, I know that feelings change. I know that things will get better. I know that things will work out...or they won't...but either way, we'll get through. And go on. And be happy.

See, I believe. I KNOW. Even when I don't FEEL like praising God, and thanking Him, or even talking to Him.....HE DOESN'T CHANGE. He is the constant. His words are always true. His promises are always kept. Whether I am happy with the world or sad with the world, the fact is...He is still in charge. So, if I feel sad, He cares. If I am happy, He cares. And, His promises are true even if I can't recall them at the moment.

I know also that God has control of my life. He has because I gave it to Him. And, while I may at times act as if I have forgotten that fact...HE WILL NEVER FORGET! And, while that does not give me license to act any way I choose...when I do have weak moments, He will gently remind me just WHO HE IS...He will comfort me, He will strengthen me, and He will fill me with joy.

He said,"I will let you laugh again; you will raise the roof with sounds of joy." Job 8:21


It is funny how I can sit down and write (for the world to see) my truest feelings. And, in my attempt not leave the wrong impression, I end up writing the words that I needed to hear. Because I would never want to leave the impression that I, even for a moment, did not trust Almighty God, I write the truest things that I know. The things I needed to hear tonight.

God is amazing. He can work in everything! Even this blog post....hope it helped you too!


Debbie said...

I get you Tonja. No one can say they have never felt the way you feel tonight, if they are being honest. But even when we, for a short moment, forget that he is there, he is still there. I've been there too. Blessings, Debbie

racheld said...

Yes, it did. I'll tell you someday.

Melissa said...

Beautiful! And oh so true!

Southern Lady said...

Tonja, thank you for sharing your innermost thoughts with us. Your wisdom and faith always shine through your words, and you never cease to inspire me.

Kat said...

I've been in your shoes many many times and, like you, I have my faith, I know God is near, I know I will be okay and the sun will shine again, but I still feel the weight of the problem and it makes me sad. And you know what, God understands.

I've noticed too (again just like you) that sometimes as I write down my thoughts either on my blog or in comments to others that I need to listen to my own advice. LOL

I'll be thinking of you and praying things settle down again very soon.

Hugs sweet friend!

nancygrayce said...

Oh, yes, felt this way many times! It always comforts me to remember that He remembers we are dust! I'm so sorry for whatever is going on and I'll keep you and your family in my prayers!

andi said...

Thank you friend. Thank you for your transparency, for writing your heart and in turn, encouraging all of us!
Treats are indeed for you-in fact, I thought of you my dear when I mentioned pb and chocolate. Sweet thoughts from seeing my dear friend today!

Musicaljean said...

Life isn't fair, and I just hate it. I totally hear your heart. And I love you for it.

Just Breathe said...

Praying for your comfort. ((HUGS))