Saturday, January 17, 2009


I am not a cook. I do not like to cook...never have. And, I do not see that changing any time in the near future..

Today, I was browsing through the January issue of G**d H*usekeeping. On the front cover there were the words: EASY Winter Recipes...14 one dish dinners your family will love. Now that sounded that something I could get my mind around. I love to make soups and stews and things in the crock pot. (But, I don't really call that cooking.) Here is just a sampling of what I read.

1. Beef Carbonnade..".dark beer gives this a deep, rich taste." What exactly is dark beer? Is it different from light beer?

2. Black Bean Tortilla Soup..".chicken thighs, lime juice and poblanos boost the broth of this crowd pleaser." I do not even know what section of the store to go to to look for 'poblanos'.

3. Veal Shoulder Chops Osso Buco Style...who can explain 'Osso Buco' style?

4. Chinese Red-Cooked Pork opposed to...say green-cooked or blue-cooked?

5. Indian Cauliflower Curry Stew...the list of ingredients calls for garbanzo beans, cilantro, curry, and yogurt. Yogurt? With Cauliflower? Now you know that does not even sound good.

6. Lamb and Root Vegetable Tagine...'Tagine?'...what would that be?

7. Peruvian Fish Soup...I know fish, and I know soup, and I know where Peru is. But, look at these ingredients: jalapeno chilies, clam juice, limes, cod fillets ,scallops, cilantro AND 1/2 pound cleaned squid, bodies sliced crosswise into 1/4 in. wide rings and tentacles cut into pieces. I don't know about you, but I don't think I could even buy squid in my town. And, if I could, I wouldn't. And, if I did...I would not clean it and slice it crosswise into1/4 in. rings or go messing with his tentacles!

8. Ropa Vieja...the explanation of this recipe is..." the name of this Latin-style braised beef literally means 'old clothes' because the meat can be shredded into what resembles a pile of rags." YUM-MY! I know that sounds appetizing!

The only recipe that looked remotely like anything I would or could try was an advertisement for Campbell's soup. Their recipe for Hearty Chicken and Noodle Casserole was written in plain English and contained only the ingredients the majority of American women would have in their pantry.


LivingTheLife said...

Oh! Tonja...I just LOVE are so much like me (that kind of sounds arrogant but it's not meant that way)...and your comments and blogs are such a blast to read. I just finished reading this outloud to my sweet hubbin...He can relate...b/c I'm exactly the same way as that sweet little advertisement you posted...about cooking and cleaning...ARE you sure your mom or your dad never came to Texas for a visit sometime around July of 1956?? :)

I knew a few of those things you listed from GH...ONLY b/c we paid big bucks for our son to go to The Culinary Institute of American in Hyde Park, NY...thankfully, he has put that degree to good use. I have learned a "few" things from him...but I have yet to learn to LOVE's not my "thang"! I do love soups, stews and crock pot goodies, though. I'm too impatient to be a great cook...I like to get in...get out of the kitchen and then get on with life...outside of the kitchen!

Hope your back is better...what's the update on Ian?


Darby said...

Tonja, That made me laugh out loud. Seriously. I mean who writes those recipes... better yet, who at Good Housekeeping puts them in their mag!? I'm with you... the Campbell's Soup recipe would be my first choice... thanks for making me smile!

Melinda said...

You are just too funny! I can always count on your for some great humor. I have something at my blog for you. Come on over when you have the chance!

Keetha said...

I found you today through NancyGrayce's blog list.

I cracked up at your recipe ingredient list.

I've been with people who were eating calamari - - - and trying to get me to "enjoy" it too - - - but I KNOW that stuff is really fried squid. No thanks.

I did taste it once.

No thanks again.

justabeachkat said...

You are a "hoot"! I like to cook, but nothing fancy. And certainly that calls for ingredients like those you mentioned.

I hope you and Ian are both feeling much better. Are you?


RealEstateGirl said...

this cracked me up! I prefer to cook Paula Deen's recipes! Now that's some good southern cookin' that doesn't require any of that weird stuff! As long as you have butter, you're good to go!

nancygrayce said...

I'm with you on the cooking!

Dianne said...

As I told Jean, I have been a super terrible blogger friend, but have spent LOTS of time here tonight catching up with you, your new house and your adventures. Never a dull moment with you, that's for sure! :-) I love your new house and am glad you are settling in. I am like you mentioned in the fact that it takes a little bit of time for a new place to feel like home, but you've got a beautiful place for that to happen. Congratulations...and I will work on doing better at checking in...and I need to work more on blogging myself too! :-)

Dianne said...

Hey. I meant to tell you earlier that Jean, Kat, Tracey, Jill and I are on facebook, so you need to sign up too. Look into it and 'friend' us if you do. It's fun. You'll like it.