Monday, July 20, 2009

ATTENTION!!! BEARS FOUND DOWN SOUTH...

THE LOCAL NEWSPAPER IN LOCAL, ALABAMA"
"News That's 'Bearly' Fit To Publish"
ED.1.......VOL.1...............Pg.1..
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In a sighting, 'bearly' able to be believed...there appeared today, 2 of the finest bears ever to be seen in these parts. Yes, I can testify to the fact that 2 of Wisconson's finest furry four-legged creatures found themselves a new home right here in our fair city.

Ms. Tonja Owens, local girl-about-town ,noticed them first as they gave her a ghastly fright at her mailbox. She heard what she said sounded, "bearly human" sounds coming from inside the box. With fear and trembling, she opened the box, but all she saw was a big envelope. Being the 'beary, beary' brave soul that she is, she grabbed that envelope and hurried into the house. Carefully tearing the envelope open, she jumped back 'beary' fast when 2 of the blackest, furriest bears just burst out of their box. Then they stood very still, so she could get a look at them...all perched up there on her island and all.

She hoisted them up and they told her their names were Bertha and Berny Bearsaltand pepper, and second cousins to that famous bear pair Brunhilda and Boris Bearsaltandpepper. She had a little trouble telling them apart until Bertha said that Berny had more holes in his head and Ms Tonja said that that totally made sense. They were very thirsty, and so she took them outside. Really, she figured they may have other business to take care of there, too. Well, they did, and then they drank her pool almost dry! They were all a' fussin' at their 2nd cousins for putting them in the mail with nary a bottle of water or snacks.

Ms. Tonja turned her back for a minute and when she looked back...they were gone!!! Where, oh, where could those 'beary' cute bears have gone? "We had just 'bearly' begun to get aquainted," said Ms. Tonja. And, then over in the pantry, she heard a disturbance. "That can only mean one thing," she said. And, sure enough, there they were...helping themselves to a snack!

Bertha was daintily (well as daintily as a bear can) helping herself to a few chocolate chips. But, Berny...well let's just say Berny leaves a lot to be desired in the manners department! He climbed right up on top of a can of Spam, and said, "Fix me a glass of sweet tea, with lemon, ole girl, I'm about to have me an appetizer...before I get on to the good stuff!"

And, the last thing that was heard from Ms. Tonja, she was seen running down the road, and over the bridge yelling, "I don't know what the 'good stuff' is and I'm not waiting around to find out!" And, she was seen talking on her cell phone a few minutes later, "Mr.Ant Man...just how big of a pest are you willing to tackle?"
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For the backstory to this tale of the Bearsaltandpepper clan, visit Keetha...she knows lots of 'beary' good bear stories.

9 comments:

Keetha Broyles said...

Oh HURRAY!!!! They made it there safe and sound.

As for snacks - - - I think Berny would love some sardines and milk. How about that?

andi said...

I am just laughing that you have Spam in your cupboard. I love the picture of you and your mom. Priceless.

Lori R. said...

Tonja - I have come to your post from K.B.(Keetha's). I have thoroughly enjoyed the adventures of bears in the Northwoods. Thanks for sharing your little package with me and your new adventures with cousins to B&B. I have added you to my follower list, so I will be back!
P.S. Proverbs 3:5-6 has been my fav Bible verse since I became a Christian. I refer to it to others and in everything I do. So when I saw that on your sidebar, I was excited to know someone else must love that verse! Thanks for sharing.

LivingTheLife said...

I am laughing with Andi...on the whole spam thing...geez...I can remember when I was a girl and mom would fix spam...she would slice it, put it in a deep dish, lay slices of pineapple on each piece and top it off with a cherry and baked...for how long...I don't know...it still tasted like spam...no matter how hard she tried to sugar coat it!

Loved the bear story...you are BEARY funny!

Love to all...
Teresa

kyooty said...

I'm also following via the Keetha! so the bears are now in your neck of the woods too? Great so maybe my evidence leaving bears aren't gone...

Tracey-RealEstateGirl said...

this was cute! At first, I was like, "what???" Bears in Alabama???

Love the photo of you and your mom above your profile!

Love Being a Nonny said...

Spam? Seriously?

Gram said...

I needed a good laught this morning! Thank you. Love the picture of your mother.

Kirby3131 said...

OMGoodness, there's another one LOL I'm so happy that they arrived to your place without a nick. Congrats on the baby bears!