Wednesday, October 17, 2007


Today my friend, Kat, posted a video on her blog. It is something you should see. Go ahead and watch it...I'll wait.

Welcome back. As I said in Kat's comments, little girls do not get to be little girls anymore. Granted, I did not raise girls, but some things we should just know. It is surprising to me what some parents let their daughters wear. I'm sure you know what I mean...little girls who wear clothes that a teenager would wear. Skin tight leggings, off the shoulder tops, high heeled shoes...for heaven's sake, and eye shadow, and lipstick. It is atrocious to see some little girls clomping around in shoes obviously designed for someone 10 or 12 years older. They can't even run around and play. And then you see them in these long dangly earrings that are just an accident waiting to happen.

Why should this obsession start so young? Little girls already are talking about "looking fat." It is bad enough that we adult women fixate on size and weight, must our little girls worry and stress over it while they are still babies? Is it because they hear us talking: "Do these pants make me look fat?", "Oh, no, I can't have dessert, I'm trying to lose weight." , "I wish my hair wasn't so flat, or curly.", "Will you look at these freckles/age spots on my skin...they're so ugly."
We MUST learn to love ourselves...whatever shape we are in...and pass that love on to our daughters, and neices, and grandaughters. It is such a crock that we are handed daily by all types of media...we must look younger, thinner, smoother, tighter, taller or we do not measure up. Measure up to whose standards? Do we even KNOW what our own standards are anymore...or have we adopted the world's ideas of beauty and perfection? Do we tend to think the "pretty people" are somehow more worthy of our attention? I am in favor of getting and staying healthy, and I think exercise is great...for mind and body. But, there are some of us who will never fit into a size 6 again no matter how much we diet and exercise. But, if we are the best we can be...that should be enough. And if all we, as adult women ,do is obsess about this, if it colors everything we say and do, how can we expect our little girls to have any other attitude? Which little girl that you know will be passed over because she is a little chubby? Which of your daughters or grandaughters or neices will not be thought of as 'good enough' because she is not wearing the cool shoes or clothes or purse? If we allow our 4 and 5 and 6 and 7 year old girls to dress like teenagers, why are we surprised when they want to act like teenagers? They are missing out on the chance to grow through the normal stages of find out who they are and what they think. And us moms of boys...we are just as responsible to teach our young men, that all women are to be respected and valued. We must teach them to look at the whole woman...not just the outside.

Oh, the responsibility we have. But, first we must accept ourselves and learn to love the person we are now. I am not where I would like to be in regards to weight...but, I am where I am at this point in my life, no less worthy, because of a few extra pounds. I can deal with the problems and obstacles before me...and I can be proud of the choices I make. I can stand tall and proud of 'me' even with a few rolls around the middle. This body has seen me through many trials, good times and bad, 3 sons, a husband.....and even though it gets mighty weary's still going. And, I thank God for it. Every young girl in our world today, regardless of size, shape, or color should learn from the youngest age that they are of great value...they are worthy of all good things..they...themselves...their soul...NOT their size.

Well, this post started out as one thing and ended up somewhere else, didn't it? Thanks for listening.


nancygrayce said...


Musicaljean said...

You're so RIGHT ON, Tonja. I watch all of the things you mentioned in my precious Destiny and even in many of the girls at our Christian school. The entertainment industry is having a HUGE effect on them. We really do have our work cut out for us.

Dianne said...

This is a great post...the world has gotten carried away with what everyone 'should be' and you are right on the mark about little ones dressing so much older. It's crazy. This is a great post...and I'm going now to watch the video on Kat's blog that you mentioned....

justabeachkat said...

Amen! I just had to post the video. It's so disturbing how the world has changed. It's absolutely scary.


Lynne said...

Terrific post and oh so true.

Jennifer said...

Wonderfully written! With 3 girls in my house ages 8-13 I constanly struggle with how the world would want them to dress and how I would have them dress. We own a pool and my girls are not allowed to wear 2-piece swimsuits. My middle daughter mentioned to me awhile back that she can't wait to be 18 so she can buy a 2 piece. My heart sank. I said well I hope by the time you are 18 you will unsterstand the value of dressing modestly and will choose to make healthy decisions for yourself.
Who said parenting would be easy?
Thank you for speaking your heart in this matter.

Ang baylis said...

AMEN! I am going to post a link to this one! You wrote it beautifully! There are a lot of us out here who need to hear this in the depths of our souls!

Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!!!
Angie xoxo