Thursday, October 22, 2009


SCENE: standing in line to check-out at H*me-G**ds, B'ham.

A young man was ringing up my purchases, and a young lady pushed her way through the waiting folks behind me (THE NERVE!) and told him she was there to pick up something. He called his MGR. who came to the front of the store...and she told him to call Steve...and I waited patiently. He called Steve, who came to the front of the I waited patiently. Steve said, "Don't call me to come to the front of the, I just have to walk back to the back and find this and then bring it back to the front, and then load her car." The young man said he was sorry, and he was only doing what the MGR said...while I waited patiently. Steve then proceeded to tell all 20 or so of us standing around the registers that she (MGR) does not know how things are run around there!

While I was patiently waiting to check out and waiting for Steve to get a grip...I turned and noticed a smartly dressed older lady. She, too has been watching all this transpire. After Steve made his last comment, she turned to me and said, "Well, if you ask me, ole Steve looks like it wouldn't hurt him to take a few more trips back and forth ...he's got a belly on him, don't he?" Well,(sucking my own belly in as best I could), I just smiled and nodded. I was afraid she would say that I should go run around the building a few times!

ANYWAY, I suppose she thought I looked like a good person to share her views on life and such...and so she did!


LADY: "How you like these towels? I saw them laying back there and I thought they looked right nice."

TONJA: "They are very pretty, they'll look nice for a touch of Christmas in the bathroom." (they were 2 hand towels, with machine embroidered holly across the front)

L: "Well, I reckon those are Christmas leaves, aren't they?"

T: Yes, Mam. Looks like holly to me."

L: "Well, I think I just may use them all the time, 'cause they match that wall paper in the hall bath so well. I think that flower is the same color." !!!!

T: "Hmmm...if you like the way they match, I think I would just take them home and use them right away."

L: "I have to wash them first. You don't know where these things have been. You don't even know where they come from. Probably overseas from some old dirty factory.You don't know who's been touching on these towels. Maybe even some rats been on them or something!"

T: "Well, I sure hope there haven't been rats on them! This is a very clean store...I don't think I would worry about that."

L: "You don't wash your stuff before you use it? You really don't know who's messed with your stuff before you get it home."

T: "Yes, I always wash new things before I use them. I think that's a good idea.

L: "You ever been shopping here before? Cause I haven't...but I think I like it. They got lots of mess in here. I don't think I like that Steve, though. "

T: "Well, maybe he has just had a hard day. "

L: "No 'scuse to talk to this young man that way...him and his big belly and his loud mouth!"


L: "Looks like you think Christmas is a comin'. Got some nice stuff there. 'Cept those wire things...don't like those too much." (some little wire trees...very rustic)

T: Well, yes, I did a little Christmas shopping. I thought I'd get a few things out of the way early. And, I collect these mercury glass balls, and these are really pretty, don't ya think?"

L: "Hmmmm...I reckon. Let me tell you what I do. Every year, I give the kids and the grands my name. "

T:" You give them your name? "

L: "Yes, I write it down for them. On the bottom of a check! And, it always fits!" (She began chuckling ... quite pleased with herself for making a joke)

L: "Do you do all your shopping here?"

T: "No, Mam. But,I like to shop here when I am in B'ham. I don't live here, and we do not have one of these stores where I live."

L: "You live close by?"

T: "No mam. I live about 200 miles south of here."

L: "And you come all this way to shop here?"

T: "Well, not exactly. I brought my son up for some eye surgery, and I thought I just do some shopping while I was here. "

L: "You driving home now? "

T: "Yes, right now. As soon as I get some gas. "

L:" Can you drive in the dark? Cause I can't. You might have to though if you are going 200 miles. Be sure to turn your lights on. "

T: "I will, and I hope you enjoy your towels. And, don't forget to wash them first."

L: (She leaned over to me and whispered so only the 10 closest people could hear)..."RATS, ya know."

The young man was finished with my things, and I paid him. Then I thanked him for wrapping my fragile items. He said that was what he was supposed to do. I said, "I know, but not everyone does. And I appreciate it."

L: "Yeah, I bet ya Steve don't do it that nice!"

And I heard her exclaim as I walked out the door, "Now, you wrap these up real nice, too...or I'll go tell Steve you want him to come help you!" She was just a snickering.

And, with that, I departed the store. I was about ready to head toward Dothan.

Ian came over and visited me while I was shopping at the Summit. Now, I am not dumb enough to believe it was just to see me...he needed some pants and a sweater...oh, and a t-shirt to wear under it. From JCrew, nonetheless! Oh, these boys and their tricks! Is that a sneaky look, or what?

As for Adam, he was having quite a bit of pain after the surgery. They saw the Dr. and he tweaked something or the other...and wants to see him again in 3 weeks.

Suzanne also had an appointment to keep while she was there, so they took care of that also.

I met up with Suzanne and Adam, and we began to make our way back to Dothan. The hour was late, and I knew my desire to be home close to dark was not to happen. Sweet Suzanne, who can drive like nobody's business, and who is an excellent, relaxed driver...kept in touch with me through phone. Now, she was perfectly capable of making it home, no sweat. But, her tired, aching, OLD mother-in-law was struggling. I was about 12 miles ahead of her when we started, but we met at McD in Montgomery, and from there, she watched and waited on me all the way home...another 100 miles. She would probably have made it home a lot faster and easier without having to look out for this old woman...BUT, she did...and I love her for it. Adam slept all the way home. And, I found an oldies station and sang my way home!


Keetha Broyles said...

Oh, but didn't that make life more fun???

I had someone call me once as a wrong number. Turns out she was a very lonely little old lady. We called back and forth several times, I TRIED to find her and visit in person, but I couldnt' find her little house to save my life from the directions she gave me.

Jewel said...

WHAT A STORY! Ha. Kooks!!

Musicaljean said...

Another great shopping story, Tonja! "Blogging fodder", ha, ha, ha, ha!! Too funny!

I'm so glad Suzanne was so patient and caring to see you home safely all the long way home.

nancygrayce said...

Tonja, you can pick those check out lines like nobody's business. By the way, I have those same hand towels....I've never washed them. (Nobody uses them, they're just for show) But now, I'm feeling like I'd better get all those rat tracks washed away!

RosieJo said...

I thought all the 'crazies' followed me around. Glad to hear there are a few entertaining you, too.

Gram said...

I thought I ran into some crazy people, but not even close to your encounters. Glad you made it home okay.

Paula (SweetPea) said...

Tonja, I believe you are the only one who encounters such people. You are always gettin' mixed up with some strange folks and strange conversations. I was dumbfounded the whole way and imagined hearing this conversation. Until...I read this: "Can you drive in the dark? Cause I can't. You might have to though if you are going 200 miles. Be sure to turn your lights on." she guesses you'd HAVE to drive. Oh and the sure to turn your lights on. Thank God she told you to do that. Can you imagine if you had not turned on your lights.

You are a hoot. Keep your wild and crazy conversations coming!!!

Paula (SweetPea) said...

Oh and I like "those wire things".

I'm sorry that you didn't choose her taste of decor to decorate YOUR house.

Dianne said...

Hey. You DO get the weird ones, but I'll say, I do LOVE those wire trees! I'm a little jealous, in fact!