Thursday, August 27, 2009


Well, we're still enjoying the sights and sounds of the big city! Plans were to leave today for home. However, when we got up and thought about heading home, neither of us was ready to go. We decided that since we were big girls now, if we wanted to stay another day...we could...and we would. And, we did! We sat and talked for a while,shared our treasures found shopping, and made our plans for the day. I told Joy that I was going to lay down for juuuust a few minutes, and then we would get ready.....I woke up about 2 hours later!!! Obviously, I needed the rest.

We have had the best time together. No one else can know me like my sister knows me. We grew up together, shared home and parents, and pets, and secrets, and plans. We have also shared the 'goods' and the 'bads' in our lives since we have had families of our own. Neither of us would ever deny the other anything...and just one word will send us running to the other's side. Isn't that the definition of 'sister'?

It has been a hard summer for both of us...and again for most of the same reasons. First Mom died, and, I was so sick, leaving Joy to do the majority of the things that had to get done.The boys have had surgery, and Adam has met with such unfortunate problems with his. Then this awful mess with our church. So, it has been such a refreshing for us to be able to talk with each other, knowing we feel the same way about things. With no distractions (well, if you don't count the amazing shopping all around) we have been able to do just what we need to do to refresh our souls.

We have spoken of Mom so often this week. "Remember when we did this?" Or, "remember that time we went here?" And, "Mom loved to shop here." Or, "Mom would have loved this so much." We missed her being with us...and we have felt her presence with us all the week. We both feel blessed that we have had this time for us to remember her, and how much she meant to us. We feel her absence so greatly...but, she would have loved nothing better than to think we were having our own little 'honoring Mom' getaway. And, so we will drive home tomorrow, having said all the things about her that we couldn't say to anyone else. Things that only the other would understand. Because that's the way it is with sisters.

The remembering won't stop...I imagine it will go on until I am able to hug her and kiss her soft cheek again. I hope that is the way it is...because it is a sweet memory anytime she crosses my mind.

[Now, lest you be concerned...we have also done our share of shopping, and eating, and visiting, and shopping, and eating. But, honest to goodness, I have not bought a single. pair. of. shoes. It's true!]

We will be having a family gathering on Saturday night. Several years ago, we started coming together to celebrate the summer birthdays all at one time...we have 8! This will be the first time since she died that we have been all together. Oh, I think it will be hard...for she had a presence that would fill the room. We will be at my house...and the last time we gathered as a family was around our pool on July 4...she died on the July 13.

It feels as if we have lived a year since then. Life changing events are not always able to be planned and prepared for...but by the Master Designer. He has chosen to change the family that we were, into a different one. But, still strong, still together, still loving....even if it's from afar for our Mother.


Southern Lady said...

Tonja, your beautiful and gracious way with words never ceases to give me chill bumps and teary eyes. I'm so happy that you and Joy had this time together, and I know it was much needed therapy for both of you.

Take care, my friend. I'm so glad you're feeling better.

Love Being a Nonny said...

What a sweet time with your sister. Though I still have my mom, I lost my sweet sister a few years ago at age 49. There is something so precious and special about a sister. I am so glad you two are spending this time together. Do it often. Thank you for sharing your heart.

Your church family....that is another tough one. The Lord is saddened by all of our earthly desires and focus on self. May He bless those who trust in Him.

Take care of yourself Tonya.

Just Breathe said...

I think that you both needed this.
Glad you had that time together.

Musicaljean said...

Southern Lady expressed my sentiments exactly. Just read her comment again and imagine me saying it!!

Donna said...

Tonja, We will be having my daughters birthday celebration this Sunday, August 30 - it would have been her 30th birthday! She just passed away a month ago. She looked forward to the big day. We are having a celebration of her life and release balloons and have cake. She would have loved it, but we do know she is looking down from Heaven watching and giving us strength!

Sherrie said...

How special it must me to have a sister to share your life with....It sound like you and Joy had a relaxing time. Good therapy for both of you...spending time together reflecting and purging your thoughts and emotions and then to add shopping and eating out..what a bonus...I miss you so much and want to come and see you soon...did you get my text message with the cute shoes on one of my 3yo??? Love you!!!!