Monday, June 23, 2008

TREAT 'EM LIKE DIRT

Did you know that Asparagus Ferns bloom? Well, I didn't. But, apparently, they do. Because, this is a picture of some Asparagus Ferns that have lain underneath the tree in my backyard since last summer. I have been too busy to even water them, much less sit them back upright and clean the crumbly, dried up leaves out of their pots, or even remove their dead branches. So, imagine my surprise when I looked at them today...and they are blooming! Beautiful, tiny white flowers.

I think there is probably some good analogy to be made here, but I just can't find it. So, suffice it to say, if you want your asparagus ferns to bloom, treat them like dirt.


FYI: If you begin to feel guilty because you have been neglectful of your 'could be'
beautiful plants...and if you reach down to remove some of the dead branches...because in your heart you know it's the right thing to do...and it happens to be the only plant you can grow...BEWARE!!!!the neglected fern WILL get its revenge! Your fingers will be full of teeny little stickers that are not meant to be seen by the human eye. You will fall back upon your buttocks with a thud! And there you will sit, in the 98 degree heat trying to find the teeny, tiny needles that are causing you much distress and remove them from yourself...as your neurotic dog paces over your legs two thousand times because it just bothers him to see you in this position...and this is a good chance to make you pay for not getting up at 3:30 this morning to take him out. And if you get so disturbed by this turn of events that you feel the need to stomp upon the offending plant in order to teach it who is boss......remember to put your shoes on first or else you could spend another hour trying to remove the teeny, tiny barbs from your feet! I'm just saying...

10 comments:

Lynne said...

You crack me up!

Hope you got all the tiny stickers out.

andi said...

I love the commentary on the event that took place! I love it! Gotta love those asparagus fern blooms. They are hearty little things aren't they?!

Paula (SweetPea) said...

I saw an asparagus plant for the first time last weekend. It is called Huber's Farm and Restaurant and they have a garden to show off veggies and flowers. I was amazed to see the asparagus stalks right above the ground and then above that this furry plant. The men tending to them were cutting off the tops...I guess to make the veggie grow better. These did not have blooms. So, I'm unsure if we are speaking of the same thing...maybe yours is ornamental but these were veggies.

justabeachkat said...

Mine are blooming right now too...the ones I keep outside, but the one inside is not. A very funny post.

Hugs!
Kat

windycorner said...

Oh Tonja, bless your heart. Commiserations friend. Asparagus fern grows like a weed here so it has to be pulled out by the roots and there have been many times I've ended up with nasty stickers in my hands from them. Those flowers turn into red berries if you leave them. You're probably not feeling very charitable toward the plant right now, though.
Holley

Sharon said...

Hi, first time on your sight, and let me tell you, You had me laughing so hard. I know about those splinters, they hurt..
I am looking forward to reading more of your sight.
blessings to my sister in christ
Sharon

Thanks again for making me smile :)

Jan & Tom's Place said...

I just "stumbled" onto your blog today...and laughed so hard at this post!!!

I'll be back.

~Blessings,
Jan

nancygrayce said...

No plants with teeny tiny barbs! I mean plants don't seem to like me as it is!

Musicaljean said...

Funny post, Tonja. I love it when neglected things take care of themselves and even become beautiful. One time years ago we had a landscaping company deliver a huge pile of top soil to our place. It was like a little mountain out in the middle of the half acre lawn behind our house. Unfortunately Dick didn't get it spread out because he got an unexpected visit from cancer. So it stayed there and eventually "sprouted". We had the most beautiful flowers ever, as well as tomatoes and peppers! Apparently the top soil had seeds in it. I always called it my accidental garden and was almost sad when Dick did spread it out and planted grass. A few of those flowers came up the next year right in the middle of the lawn!

Nancy said...

Tonja, I have really been enjoying your blog and I just couldn't get over Hollywood and God....my goodness!! I would love to add you to my blog list, so let me know if that will be okay....Nancy