Friday, April 30, 2010



When it's hard to keep doing the right thing, when you really want to bop someone in the head or shake them till their teeth rattle...don't. Just count to 10 or 280, and keep your cool. Perhaps take a walk...preferable in a shopping area for maximum benefit!!!

When you want to eat the last cookie in the box, and it's your most favorite kind in the world, but you know someone who lives with you loves them as much as you do...go ahead and leave it and you eat Ritz instead. And, if you should need a chocolate milkshake to go with...not a problem. No calories will be counted because you were being magnanimous in the first place.

When you have made 2 trips to the drug store in the last day, and SOMEONE comes up to you and ever so kindly asks you to please take this other prescription to get it filled, and would you mind waiting because they need it in the next 2 hours, and it just happens to be right at 5:30, when the CVS is the busiest, so you can not drive through, you have to go inside, which means you'll have to put your bra back on...just smile sweetly and say, "I'll be glad to," and remember it is against the law to sit and wait at the pharmacy in the back of the CVS without downing a Diet Dr.Pepper and a Snicker Bar while you wait.

And, if you are feeling really sick, sick nigh unto death, and your kind "neat freak" spouse complains about the 4 pieces of Tupperware that are in the sink instead of being in the dishwasher or preferably washed by hand and put away...try to refrain from taking every piece of that 'Faux Tupperware' (which is really, really faux...not even Glad or Ziplock...but more Dollar General) and laying it gently on the floor and then taking your dainty foot and stomping every square inch of that wimpy plastic until it lies flat on the ground, never to be a square or rectangle again in this life...and then throwing it in the garbage can. And all the while spouse who started this whole scene, stares at you with mouth hanging open, eyes bugged out of the head, and brow furrowed. The next words that leave his lips are, "Are you out of your mind?" To which, the correct answer is, "Yes. Yes I am. So, if I were you, I'd be very afraid." But, say it with a smile on your lips....for full effect.

And, if you are able to do this..."Lo! You shall be rewarded! And GREAT shall be your reward. For you are indeed worthy." Truths from Tonja: Chapter !

I'm not bragging on me or anything like that...humble girl that I strive to be...
BUT! Look who came to stay with me AGAIN. THIS. MORNING! As you can easily see...He is indeed delighted!

HOWEVER, there was just one little problem. This very smart little boy (kin to me)is used to much visual stimulation. And due to the fact that he is either on his tummy or his back...there is not much to look at. When I hold him, he is very happy...even overjoyed...because he gets to look at me! But, even his Aunt Tonja can't hold his attention forever. So what's a resourceful aunt to do? Hmmmmm....

Well, when he sits in his carrier, it has a bar that toys hang from. Which excites him greatly! When he rides in his car seat in GiGi's car, there are toys tied everywhere for his amusement. But, at Aunt Tonja's house...there is nothing that hangs above his head for him to grab and teeth on and wad up and gnaw on. And, he obviously misses his toys because he doesn't tarry for very long on my face.

So, using what supplies I had on hand, I set about to build a playground for Master Bush. I needed something to hang toys from, and whatever I hung the toys from needed to be suspended overhead of baby boy. First, I found some old macrame cord. I used to be quite a good macrame knot tying artist. I made plant hangers for every post me or Mom or Joy ever had. And, they were fine ones, too. And, purses! Oh. My. Goodness. Purses of every color, shape, size that you could imagine! I gave them away, I sold them, I made them for everyone who even thought they wanted one. I even made a table. Yes, a table. A hanging table,but a sturdier table you could not find in all of the city.

But, I digress. I have not done macrame in about 20 years. However, for some reason, I have held on to this small amount of cording. Actually it's probably 10 yards. Now, how to SAFELY place this cording above the baby. I began tying the cord to the leg of my work table. Securing it, I moved to the next leg of the table...because I wanted to be sure JT couldn't pull the table over to him.!!??!!
OK. that was on one side of the baby, now to the other side of the baby, but safely overhead. There it was...the corner of the daybed! Perfect...higher than the baby...higher than the table, so there could be a nice dip in the the toys could be reached. OK..done! Looking good! UH OH...maybe the toys should have been strung onto the cord BEFORE it is tied into several double knots on the bed posts! OK...are you ready? Here is the the "SWINGING TOYS FOR BOYS" designed and manufactured by Auntmade.

Ignore, please, the condition of the room. There are several things out of place today and there will probably be several things out of place tomorrow, too! Notice the specialized cording tied to the table leg on Right, and the bed post on the Left.

LOOK! He's found it! He likes it!

Notice, please, that the 'specialized cording' is at a safe distance from his head.
Notice also that the toys are in the correct position for ease of playing.

Looks like it's working just fine!

It MUST BE NOTED here that at NO time during the use of the Swinging Toys for Boys was the child in question left alone. A responsible (!??!!) adult was there at all times!


racheld said...

Oh, Tonja!! You just won't DO!!

I've never seen such dedication to a cause in my life, and the way you put it together---just genius.

That little guy is a lucky little fella.

I also have the vision of a mid-air table made entirely of string, just dangling overhead with perhaps a knitted vase and a crocheted doily with big yellow stand-up jonquils starched in sugar-water. I can't get my mind around that, and hope you have a picture somewhere. Do show!

My favorite part though, was when the mythical someone stomped the Tupperware flat. I think that vision is the funniest I've had in a while, and I'm smiling at the thought.

I'm gonna go get an old Glad-box out of the drawer and give it a try while no one's at home but me.

Just Breathe said...

I never doubted that he would be left alone, with age comes wisdom.
You are so creative, I love what you made for him. He is a doll by the way :)

I hear you on the strength it takes to put that smile on when it comes to the man we love!

Musicaljean said...

I was smiling the whole way through this post. You're the best, Tonja!

Melissa said...

I LOVE it! The whole post! Goodness, I remember those macrame mama made them too! What ingenuity in creating a toy bar for that sweet boy! He's going to love staying with Aunt Tonja!

Gram said...

I laughed and laughed, boy have I been having days like that recently. Someone I love dearly is not feeling well and lets just say all is not well with the world when that happens. My tongue hurts from biting it. I was just talking to someone about the macrame years when everyone on my Christmas list received a lovely owl wall hanging!

You are a great Aunt (no pun intended)!

Love Being a Nonny said...

You are TOO funny. Great post!!!!

It's amazing what we can come up with for the little need to spend a lot of money. I do think this might get recalled though!!:) He is precious!

Kat said...

Thanks for a BIG belly laugh! Love this post!

So glad you're getting to spend time with that cutie pie! He is adorable.


Ang baylis said...

Dear Macrame Tying Artist,
I hate to break it to you, but I would almost bet that macrame cord is more like 30-35 years old. I haven't seen them in years! You just brought to mind my sister who got grounded for about a month when my dad spotted her at the beach in a macrame bikini she had made. She was a real hippie! Now you made me lose my train of thought. It must be in the air! Um... I'm totally impressed! Where might a friend find one of your purses? You make me laugh!
Love you!
Angie xoxo

smcvicker said...

so funny! precious little boy!

nancygrayce said...

What a creation! Looked to me like he loved what Aunt Tonja made!

My dh does exactly the same thing about anything left in the sink....well since we returned from our trip there are mountains of clothes in front of the laundry room door patiently awaiting their turn in the wash! I sweetly told him I was a little on edge so to beware. He aint no fool! He bewared! :)