After Joy and I finished our work on Pop's den, we decided to go through some more of her things that needed to be discarded. Things like make-up, and lotions, and other personal items.

This is not a fun thing to do...but it is necessary. It feels almost intrusive, though. These are the things that she touched everyday. Just little things like 48 lipsticks, and 13 compacts, and foundation...10 or 12, lotions, Oil of Olay and Nivea, and 7 curling irons with teeth and without, buttons, old fashioned hair rollers, hair clips, toothpaste, toothbrushes,combs and brushes. Nothing great and wonderful...just the normal grooming things we all use to get us through the day. I wish I had taken a pic of just how organized she had it all. She could put her hand right on whatever she needed. Everything was in its place...she always put it back in the area she created for it. (It is obvious to those who know me that this trait did not pass on to me. Oh, I can organize it, and find a perfect home for it...it's the 'putting back' I have trouble with!) She also had a drawer full of beautiful handkerchiefs, and hand towels. Some were embroidered with Granny, or Mother or some other sentiment.Here were some gifts from the grandchildren and notes from Joy and I. And, this scarf was among them.

I remember buying this for her for Mother's Day one year. It was in an April Cornell store...do you remember those? I think they have all moved overseas now...but there was such a beautiful array of 'fancy' things there that she loved.
I thought this scarf was so beautiful and pink and prissy...all the things she liked.
And the verse that was woven into the fabric was so perfect, it would not have mattered how much it cost...because it was already hers.
HOME IT IS MY MOTHER
My Home it is my Mother,
Within her heart I live.
Her love is like no other;
The sunshine it does give.
And like the spreading branches
Of a truly fragrant tree,
My Mother’s heart and arms
Have made a perfect nest for me.
The things we picked up and held and opened up and smelled were all familiar to us. We knew these were the things she used and had for years. We knew she like Clinique makeup and her favorite home fragrance was Nantucket Briar by Crabtree and Evelyn. She had a special toothpaste for sensitive teeth. These things were the things she had grown comfortable with and was happy buying again and again. She did enjoy trying a new eye shadow or lipstick, though.

Nothing we have touched and moved and discarded or given away or packed away has been a surprise to us. There has been nothing that has angered us or shocked us. There has been nothing that shatters that image we have of her. There has been nothing that does not point to the little lady who had Jesus in her heart and loved to serve him. It all points to how much she adored her husband, her children, her grandchildren and her friends. There has been nothing that does not fit into the life she lived in front of us for 77 years. Just another gift from her. The assurance that she didn't have hurtful secrets or unwelcome surprises for us to learn about now that she is in Heaven. Oh, I'm sure she had her secrets that she kept...who among us doesn't? And, there are things in our lives that no one needs to know about but us. That's not what I am talking about. I am speaking of those things that would show us that she was not the person we knew her to be.
(Well, to be perfectly honest, she DID have little pockets of money squirrelled away in some strange places! :))
If I died tomorrow, would my children be able to say the same thing? I hope so. I can not think of anything I would not want them to find or see. Other than the fact that they would undoubtedly complain about all the things I kept that they could not understand, I would be at ease with them going through my things as we have Mom's.
Isn't that something we all need to strive for? To have only those things around us that speak to who we really are? If there is something that I feel I need to hide...I do not need to have it.
(Except maybe that mad money for my next shopping trip!) I have learned throughout these months since Mom died that death is not the end of your influence. I have learned that you keep teaching and reinforcing those life lessons you taught. I have learned that seeing that your Mother truly is the person she portrayed to others during her life on earth, is a gift to treasure. This is one of those really special gifts...the kind you hold safely in your heart. Oh, may the same be said of me when I leave this world.

(This is a tea towel I gave to her a few years ago.)